ESOL, I know right?

Okay, so I work with Immigrants quite often nowadays. I know right? It's done through hampstead theatre, called ESOL it helps those that have english as a second language to develop confidence with speaking in front of people, writing, pronunciation, all that jazz. The whole thing is quite a laugh really.
A couple of weeks ago I was brought in to work with some level one students (bear in mind these students are nearly all middle-aged- bear in mind these people barely know english at all) and we created a script that was quite funny. for me anyway. and here i am, sharing it with you! enjoy.

Scene 7
The head teacher, teaching assistant, melissa and melissa's mother are in the head teachers office.

Head teacher: Thank you for coming, so what's going on?

Teaching assistant: I saw Melissa setting off the fire alarm

Melissa: No i didn't

TA: Yes i saw you

M: No, she doesn't like me.

TA: Melissa that's not the point at all- that i don't like you.

Mother: how dare you talk to my child like that.

HT: Everbyody calm down!

TA: Melissa I don't want to have any problems with you

M: Whatever (does whatever hand sign. you know it)

TA: You have to change your behaviour, I really want to get on with you.

HT: Melissa it's the first day of school. Don't make a lot of trouble like you did las year.

M: Oooh what? I make trouble? She took the key for the lunch boxes!

TA: WHY would i take the key?

M: Maybe you where hungry! I've had enough, I'm taking my chile home. We'll never be back.

mother and daughter exit.


HT: Don't worry about them. She's always like this. I'll talk to you later.

End scene.


yippie.

flashing lighter.

keep up with me in london town move real quick and my face is found the concrete rocks knocked down got put into nasty blocks nazis blew off our socks rebuilt but where are we now? in a the same shit hole but safe and sound no one wants the star around, he's too much for the weaker now, now I'm killing all I'm brighter now, those that can't take it better exit now or become i devout. I do this, better than them, many men came and went while I still refuse to relent Simply heaven sent player, women wooer dragon slayer fortress taker quite simply that motherfucker if she can smell me you couldn't even touch her, she's the lover of mine now, somehow some way, i manage to nod my head to decent beats every single day, classic like doris day show boris johnson lay low one pound twenty for bus how could you say so? That's the way it goes, took our votes but it's all the same, every politician got a different name but they're all fucking lame useless monologues spouting- twenty one years and counting for a better aim, either that or hope to hear what someone's saying is worth saying, im just saying, truth be told the brave and the bold ideal has gotten old. whoever's got the ball wants to pass in front of an open goal. and for fifteen minutes we're willing to sell our soul, that or it's just the way the truth is sold, news for the world gives us girls, gets us hard for boobs instead of hitting us with hard truth, we'd tell the the truths but in that there's money to loose so why change, does that mean intelligence gives no change, they wanna keep the working class the same surely insane, everything needs to be rearranged or am i just derranged? Twenty one but stuck in a teen age, the devils at our door asking what we're gonna fight for, what's the cause, trouble in the street and darfour whatever way you go it's bad end you're going towards- and I got no prophecy or religion, my mouth wrights what was written but it was my eyes what witnessed them and only those can i trust an ugly face but the light shines from this dust. couldn't give a fuck but i will lusting for a thrill all i need is one more pill smile on my face like the can't be real. Take a hit a dose who does what they love the most? that's the man who haunts our lives like a ghost. Till I'm him i'll find it hard to care, I'm a million pounds short from a millionaire but if you met me you know I'll get there. See you when you get there, if you ever get there, hard to care for everyone we always want a perfect day but why deny a setting sun there are other truths to be won so i run for trust of those that's get me to the point where im not running for the bus. I sigh it makes my day because "us" used to be me and girl but now my other half is the entire world, she's pretty heavy so i go on top don't stop don't know if she can take what i've got on lock one love from above im fly no need to ask the question why would you ask a bird why it flies why electrics slide on the dance floor people people why jay's at the top for, because they all imitate in the hope of finding what's great. Water is not rock why be another state? How are we going to show our place when you're sounding like you're from the united states? such a state and here i am writing to a beat made by kanye if you noticed it touche mon frere what i do to those that aren't it's unfair but now you know a few of my views see if you wanna check out the viper D cobra lightfooted warrior and, and, and i have to breathe, and i, i can't believe, all i see is embodied in me, and all i see is a part of me, and if all i ever be is a part of you, i hope to- to make that part a little more true

rained in.

I'm all she knows
I keep her close
loosen her bows
remove her clothes
I'm all she shows
she's all i see
all I'll need
no less than we, are
rolling, roll in.
move in, moving
growing, grow in
I take her slow
and breathe her in
break bridges
I'll make again
she holds my pose
I ignite her glow
the only night i wont let go
and if the lights never went low...
and the lights then went low.

(had mad love

though i wouldn't give it

meant to say I always loved

but never could admit it)

dreams of flashing lights

women measure men 
by their salary
before the charade is there
what is it you want from me?
longing for a girl that wants it for free
dudes get cash for girls because they're not funny
overcompensation seeing as they're not pretty
pretty funny for ma honey he's heavy already
looking better looking good,
outlook looks like it fucking should
only word i don't know is could as Sean is, i mean
I am both those two
if you didn't know deep too
too bad if that gets lost on you
i truly am that dude
hollow women filled up on shoes
I'm telling truth telling you I'm telling dudes
don't go tail those who say their good
just run straight in first place like sonic would

no ones worth their fame, so lame

In real life they're never the same

got no brain but always seem to give it hard to believe it.

whereas i strive to be the greatest, no one can attest

who acts hard boom by ay a bullet proof vest

can't hurt what lives in others hearts and heads
I've been tired now in the fold

I'm on the rooftops shout and remind

I'll sell what can't be sold

got a story that if not paid, cannot be told

doing this for years and it's still not old

why do you think i am who i am?
walking in the concrete promise land

money has never defined so it always helps

wealth is fine i only want enough

though to many that can be seen as too much, 

i want nandos for breakfast

brunch, lunch and supper

and if i get bored of london

I'll fly to an early summer

spend it with a bonafide stunner

they're getting wiley aiming

at the road runner i just

throw the dagger scream cowabunga

like michaelangelo watch me go

as your life moves in slow motion

but it's always at the wrong moments

waiting for the bus. you're in the rain

I'm first class, on a whole other plane, no worries

i feel your pain, friday fight night was on the 29

free bus sometimes could cost a life

got me running london better than boris

not hard better suited as a florist

only ever being honest, real talk

no holograms or peg legs I'm all man

understand the best has come

so who's got to step it up now? everyone

IIIII write from the skies strike thunderous flashing lights liker miker-raphone killer said im the greatest more power than the thriller in manilla gotta figure they're all dead before i pull the trigger bouncing off walls baby call me tigger more winner than sinner begin her for dinner quiver never would have happened if i chose to be a singer now let me linger. 

it's like I've got a gold finger, i guess

every girl i touch acts like they're blessed

so imagine their face after i cum on their chest

that's the point of what im trying to say

i've always got the girls never had to pay

I get casual when bagging lovely women

pick up pull them even in running trainers and double denim

think you could get a girl in asics? as if

run around run around run around town

do it all day just google map london that's where my face'll be found

from comedy to poetry from kentish to hackeny

if you don't know you know of.

and if you're not jealous then you do have love

and i got it too that's why i do this i do this for you.

hear my speech watch my words it has to be true

hall and oates, private eyes, some put that charade up

living private lives

i define both middle and working class

i don't know which way to strive.

Perform every night.
Before going on stage I look at my hands
They do not shake.
Many reign in what they wont give back,
I do not take.
To conform to conversations is the norm,
Though I am not fake
The pressure can get too heavy for many
I will not break
Will not slow down
I will not brake
i say this because i do this
For us.
In the hope that neither will you
and god forbid you do
I always have on me some glue and sticky paper
No matter what we'll get through, get better,
happier and back together
as those that took, shook or hid, live
in a false sense of security, foundations: sloppy
We will not quake
The bones wont break
our muscles wont ache
the sounds wont grate
no matter whats at stake.
and if they do, and they will
we will have learnt, how to feel
when you know what's not
you know what's real
you know what's what?
this talk. It's real.

Larry Sanders.